1. |
Overture
00:30
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2. |
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ALL:
WELCOME TO OUR QUIET LITTLE TOWN
WHERE THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER EVERYWHERE
AND THERE, AND THERE, RIGHT HERE!
FRESH FACES, CHEEKS ARE ROSY
EVERY NIGHT IS AWFUL’ COZY.
‘BORING BUT WE JUST DON’T CARE
DR. MOUSTACHE:
LET ME CUT YOUR HAIR!
TOWNSFOLK:
HERE’S MAIN STREET
AIN’T IT SWEET
IT’S GOT EVERYTHING WE NEED
TO LEAD A HEALTHY AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE
‘CAUSE WE’RE BORN, THEN WE DIE
BUILDING FAMILIES IN BETWEEN
BUT WE STAY HERE SO OUR TOWN SURVIVES
WE DON’T LOCK OUR DOORS AT NIGHT
‘CAUSE CAPTAIN ORDINARY’S ON OUR SIDE!
IT’S JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
HERE IN PLAINSVILLE USA
YOU’LL NEVER LOSE YOUR JOB OR HAVE TO MOVE AWAY
IT’S JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
WE’RE IN PLAINSVILLE USA
AND THAT’S OKAY ‘CUZ THAT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE
WHEN YOU’RE ORDINARY
RESPONSIBILITY-FREE
NORMAL IS EXTRAORDINARY
WE REALLY MEAN IT
NORMAL IS EXTRAORDINARY
TELL A FRIEND
NORMAL IS EXTRAORDINARY
TOWNSFOLK
WELCOME TO PLAINSVILLE, PLAINSVILLE USA
WELCOME TO PLAINSVILLE, PLAINSVILLE USA
WELCOME TO PLAINSVILLE, PLAINSVILLE USA
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3. |
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HENRY
Come on, answer your phone...
Hey Billy! Here it is. Day one of owning and running the store. We’re not going to mess this up. We got this. We’ve basically grown up in this store, how hard can it be?
HEY BILLY, WE’RE ALL OUT OF QUARTERS
THE BANK IS ONLY OPEN TWO DAYS A WEEK
CAN SOMEONE SHOW ME HOW TO READ ALL OF THESE STUPID RECEIPTS?
WHO SELLS US BREAD? WHERE DO I STORE THE CHEESE?
SHOW ME WHERE I SIGNED UP FOR THIS JOB PRETTY PLEASE?
HEY BILLY, WHY’D HE HAVE TO LEAVE US?
HE WAS A HERO TO ME, A HERO TO YOU
THIS WHOLE TOWN NEEDED HIM HERE, JUST LIKE I DO
HE TAUGHT US HOW TO TRUST AND HOW TO BE TRUE
THEN HE LEFT US AT A CROSSROAD WITHOUT A CLUE
SO IT’S WRITTEN, SO IT GOES
EVERY DAY, EVERY TALE, EVERY DREAM THAT I HAD
ENDS WITH ME STOCKING SHELVES IN THIS STORE
ONLY US NOW, ALL ALONE
NOW I’M LEFT HERE WITH THESE SHOES TO FILL
WITH JUST A MOP
BILLY
Anything else?
HENRY
AND A FLOOR
HEY BILLY
Do you think that I can do this?
BILLY
We can do this!
... Thats a superhero costume ...
HENRY
Isn't it Captain Ordinary's costume?
BILLY:
It's Captain Ordinary's costume!
TOGETHER:
IT'S FREAKING ORDINARY'S COSTUME!!
BILLY
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS
HENRY
THE MAN WE LOVED WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN HE SEEMED
I GET TO TRY IT ON FIRST!
BILLY
FAT CHANCE, IT LOOKS MY SIZE
LOOKS LIKE YOU CAN’T EVEN GET IT OVER YOUR THIGHS
HENRY
SCREW YOU! SPANDEX STRETCHES
BILLY
FINE I’LL COMPROMISE
BESIDES, THE MASK IS THE KEY FEATURE OF ANY DISGUISE
Now that's super strength if I've ever seen it!
BILLY
HENRY- IT’S DESTINY-
WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT OPPORTUNITY
THEY’LL SEE, YOUR FAMILY TREE
HAS PROVEN WHAT IT TAKES TO BE EXTRAORDINARY
HENRY
NOT FOR ME
BILLY
YOU WANTED CHANGE, WELL BUDDY IT’S HERE
YOU JUST INHERITED A SUPER SECRET CAREER!
NO ONE KNOWS, HE’S EVEN GONE
WE’RE ENTRUSTED TO ENSURE HIS LEGACY LIVES ON
IT’S YOUR TURN, FORGE A HERO’S TRAIL
WITH THIS POWER DEEP INSIDE, KNOW YOU CAN NEVER FAIL!
DON’T YOU WANNA BE FREE? COME BE A HERO WITH ME, WE’LL KICK SOME ASS AND FIND A HAPPY ENDING.
FIGHT THE THUGS AND THE GOONS, PICK UP A GIRL, MAYBE TWO- WE’LL GET SOME FRIENDS AND DO SOME SAPPY FRIENDS THINGS
HENRY DON’T BE SO SCARED- WHO CARES IF YOU FEEL PREPARED- ANYONE WHO CROSSES US TO THE MOON YOU’RE SENDING
HIS POWER STILL LIVES IN YOU, HIS STRENGTH AND BRAVERY TOO, THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING!
Come on man, we’ve been preparing for this since we were kids! You wanted something more, so step up! I’m literally handing it to you, you can do it!
(Optimism Man repeats while this layers on top)
HENRY
AND NOW IT’S WRITTEN
HERE WE GO
EVERY DAY, EVERY TALE, EVERY DREAM LEADS THE WAY
TO THE DESTINY WE HAVE IN STORE
TWO OF US NOW, AND WHAT’S MORE
WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED, WE’LL BEAT BAD EVERY TIME
THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING
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4. |
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ANNIE
EXTRA, EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT, THE SAME STORY EVERY DAY
55 YEARS OF THE SAME FRONT PAGE,
CAPTAIN ORDINARY PAVES THE WAY
BY BEING THE HERO ALL THE TOWNSFOLK NEED
AND HERE’S WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY:
TOWNSFOLK 1
Last week Captain Ordinary walked my dog for me when I was home sick in bed; he truly is a canine outta ten!
TOWNSFOLK 2
Captain Ordinary always helped me cross the street! Even when I didn’t need to cross the street… and when I told him I didn’t need to cross the street, he helped me cross BACK across the street!
TOWNSFOLK 3
I literally don’t even look before I cross the street anymore! That’s how safe we are!
BILLY
I don't know what this town would be without him.
ANNIE
EXTRA, EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT, YEAH I’M TALKING TO YOU-
IT’S AN HISTORICAL OCCASION HERE IN PLAINSVILLE TODAY- WE HAD A REASON TO PRINT A PAGE TWO- IT’S TRUE!
OUR VERY OWN HENRY HARVEY SENIOR HAS DIED
BUT HIS LEGACY LIVES ON
BY BEING THE FRIEND ALL THE TOWNSFOLK NEED
WHAT WOULD THEY LIKE TO SAY NOW THAT HE’S GONE?
TOWNSFOLK 1
Henry would always bring me magazines and cough syrup when I was feeling sick. How he was always able to check up on me, I'll never know. It was so lovely having a friend looking out for me...
TOWNSFOLK 2
Henry Harvey was a member of every town group and organization, including the PTA, the 4H Club, and the MAGFADD, you know, mothers and grandfathers against drunk driving.
TOWNSFOLK 3
I go to “For Your Convenience” every day after school. Mr. Harvey always saved the last pack of bubble gum just for me! I’m going to miss him so much.
HENRY
I don’t know what this town is going to do without him.
ANNIE
HE WILL BE MISSED
HE LEAVES A HOLE IN OUR COMMUNITY
HE WAS JUST LIKE OUR CAPTAIN ORDINARY IN OH SO MANY WAYS
TAKE COMFORT IN THIS- THAT EVEN THOUGH
HENRY HARVEY HAS MOVED ON
ORDINARY TAUGHT US ALL HOW TO BE STRONG- COME TO THINK OF IT NOW HENRY DID TOO!
TOWNSFOLK
NEVER SEEN EM IN THE SAME ROOM AT THE SAME TIME
BUT I’M UNEQUIVOCALLY CONVINCED THEY COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE THE SAME GUY!
ALL
YES THEY’RE TWO INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE
COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE ONE AND THE SAME
DEFINITELY TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE,
UNDENIABLY TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE,
TOTALLY, WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THEY’RE TWO UNIQUE PEOPLE
IF THERE’S EVER TROUBLE
OUR HERO’S THERE AND ON THE DOUBLE.
SIMILAR, BUT NOT THAT MUCH
THOUGHT THEY WERE THE SAME BUT WE MISJUDGED
DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME GUY!
IN PLAINSVILLE, PLAINSVILLE USA
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5. |
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CHAZZ
I'M A BOY
YOU’RE A GIRL
HERE WE ARE IN THE WORLD
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WON’T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED
LIKE THEY DID, WHEN THEY DIED
MY PARENTS, BY MY SIDE
AS THEY DROVE OFF THE CLIFF, STRAIGHT INTO THE SEA, SEEEEAA
THEY LEFT ME, MEEEEEE, ALL ALONE
AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
BABE LISTEN
WHEN I WAS LITTLE I FOUND MYSELF WISHIN’
THAT MY PARENTS WOULD FINALLY STOP DISHIN’
OUT ALL THESE DUMB RULES ON HOW I SHOULD LIVE MY LIFE
LIKE DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS
MAKE CHOICES NOT WAGERS
REMEMBER THAT HAPPINESS HAS NO PRICE
TURNS OUT THAT WAS BULL SHIT
BECAUSE WHAT I HAVE NOW
IS ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY A WHORE
SO BABE LISTEN
WHY DON’T YOU GET BACK IN THAT KITCHEN
DON’T LIKE IT, YOU’RE ASS I’LL BE DITCHIN’
WE’RE SCRATCHIN’ BACKS, SO NOW GET ON YOURS
SO HEY BABY,
YOU’RE SUCH A PERSUADABLE LADY
SO I’VE BEEN THINKING LATELY, YOU’LL MOVE
INTO MY HOUSE BECAUSE YOU’RE SO POOR
CAN’T SAY NO TO THIS ORPHAN BOY
WHEN HE TELLS YOU TO BE HIS PRIDE AND JOY
HIS TROPHY WIFE
HIS MANLY RIGHT
HIS DAY AND NIGHT…..
FUCK BUDDY
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6. |
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EMILY
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
YOU KNOW, I’VE BEEN DOING THIS MY WHOLE LIFE
THIS BOAT IS SINKING
WE HIT THIS ICEBERG ON OUR PROM NIGHT
AND OUT OF THOSE SELFISH ASSHOLES
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT HE WAS THE BEST
WELL TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE
AND DON’T I DESERVE THIS, AND OF THE REST
PLACE BETS-
10 THAT SHE STAYS, DOUBLE IF SHE GOES
THE WHOLE TOWN SAYS BEHIND MY BACK
SEVEN YEARS TO THE DAY, HE SUDDENLY PROPOSED
THE ILLUSION IS SHATTERED, IT’S CRACKED
AND I’M JUST WAITING FOR THE END OF THIS CHAPTER
BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I WILL WRITE WHAT COMES AFTER
AND I’M JUST WAITING TO FIND MY OWN POWER
AND TO MAKE SURE HE HEARS ME, I’LL JUST SCREAM A LITTLE LOUDER
WHAT THE FUCK DO I SAY TO HIM?
YOU GOTTA BREAK OLD HABITS BEFORE YOU
TRAPPED AND FORGOTTEN
STUCK IN THIS TOXIC LIFE THAT’S ALL I EVER KNEW
YOU CAN’T BE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS AND A SUPER HERO TOO
BUT IF YOU’RE GIVEN THE CHOICE, THOUGH I’M NOT, I’D KNOW WHICH CHOICE I WOULD CHOOSE
‘CUZ I’M DONE WAITING FOR THE START OF THIS CHAPTER
AND FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I WILL WRITE WHAT COMES AFTER
I'M DONE WAITING TO FIND MY OWN POWER
AND TO MAKE SURE THEY HEAR ME, I’LL JUST SCREAM A LITTLE LOUDER
FIND MY HAPPY EVER-AFTER, AFTER ALL
BUT WILL MY REAL LIFE ENDING END UP HAPPY AFTER ALL?
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7. |
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EMILY
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME…
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME…
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME…
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME...
HENRY
SO IT’S WRITTEN, SO IT GOES
SO IT GOES
SO IT’S WRITTEN, SO IT GOES
EVERY DAY I’LL BE READY
EVERY DAY
SO IT’S WRITTEN, SO IT GOES
SO IT’S WRITTEN, SO IT GOES
EMILY
I’M JUST WAITING FOR THE START OF THE CHAPTER
I’LL WRITE WHAT COMES AFTER
I’LL WRITE MY OWN STORY
NO MORE CRAPPY ENDINGS FOR ME
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
BILLY
DON’T YOU WANNA BE FREE, COME BE A HERO WITH ME
WE’LL KICK SOME ASS AND FIND SOME HAPPY ENDINGS
FIGHT THE THUGS AND THE GOONS, PICK UP A GIRL MAYBE TWO
WE’LL MAKE SOME FRIENDS AND DO SOME SAPPY FRIEND THINGS
HENRY DON’T BE SO SCARED, WHO CARES IF YOU FEEL PREPARED
ANYONE WHO CROSSES US, TO THE MOON YOU’RE SENDING
HIS POWER STILL LIVES IN YOU, HIS STRENGTH AND BRAVERY TOO
THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING
THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING
THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING YEAH
THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING!
TOWNSFOLK (GROUP 1)
WELCOME TO PLAINSVILLE, PLAINSVILLE U.S.A (REPEATED)
TOWNSFOLK (GROUP 2)
THEY’RE DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME GUY
TO OUR QUIET LITTLE TOWN
WELCOME, WELCOME TO OUR QUIET LITTLE TOWN
WELCOME, WELCOME TO OUR QUIET LITTLE TOWN
WELCOME, WELCOME TO OUR QUIET LITTLE TOWN
DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME GUY
NO THEY’RE DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME GUY
ALL
HERE AND NOW AND DAY TO DAY
WE’RE JUST LIVING OUR LIVES, TRYING TO FIND OUR WAY
LIVE IN THE MOMENT IS WHAT THEY SAY
TODAY IS JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
TODAY IS JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
TODAY IS JUST AN ORDINARY
AND THAT IS OUR EXTRAORDINARY
JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY
IN PLAINSVILLE, U.S.A
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8. |
Small Town News
04:04
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TOWNSFOLK
WHEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
WHEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
WHEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
THEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME,
IT’S THE SAME AS THE SAME AS BEFORE
AND IT’S A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN
ANNIE
I GREW UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY
BUT I NEVER TELL ANYONE THAT
TURNED SEVENTEEN, NOT MY SCENE,
SO I RAN WITH NO LOOKING BACK
YOU SEE FROM IN BETWEEN THOSE BUILDINGS
I FELT SO SMALL, PALM SWEAT, HEAD HUNG
POUNDS OF PRESSURE ON MY LUNGS
I’M SCREAMING BUT NO SOUND COMES OUT
OR MAYBE, IT’S JUST TOO LOUD AROUND HERE
WHY IS THERE ALWAYS FEAR?
SO I GOT OUT OF THERE STAT
AND LEPT INTO SMALL TOWN LIFE
TRADED IN A ONE-ROOM FLAT
FOR A PLACE WITH NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS
AND WENT FROM BIG CITY TO SMALL TOWN NEWS
BECAUSE I’M SMALL TOWN NEWS- I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SMALL
NOW EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
TOWNSFOLK
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
WHEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
WHEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
ANNIE
AND I CAN BREATHE AGAIN
TOWNSFOLK
THEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME,
AS THE SAME AS THE SAME AS BEFORE
ANNIE
SOMETIMES I WANT MORE
OWL GIRL
HOW ABOUT A HAIR CUT DEARIE?
DOESN’T COST A PENNY HERE
YOU- YOUR HAIR CUT’S LOOKING DREARY
COME AND SIT RIGHT IN THE CHAIR- COME SEE
DOCTOR MOUSTACHE
HE’S THE GREATEST
FOR ALL OF YOUR BARBER QUERIES
DOCTOR MOUSTACHE
HE CURED CANCER
TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS! NO?
COME INSIDE WE’LL TREAT YOU NICELY
AND WE WON’T DO ANY SCIENCE
THINGS TO YOUR BRAIN,
THAT’D BE CRAZY
THAT’D BE JUST A HOOT
DR. MOUSTACHE
Owl Girl get in here!
OWL GIRL
ALL WE NEED IS JUST ONE SUBJECT
AND MAYBE THEN HE’LL KNOW I CARE
THESE PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
DESPAIR
UNTIL WE RULE OVER THESE
SMALL TOWN FOOLS
AND DOCTOR MOUSTACHE SOON WILL
FIND A WAY TO BE CRUEL
AND EVERY DAY IS THE SAME AS THE SAME AS BEFORE
DON’T THINK I CAN TAKE ONE MORE
TOWNSFOLK
STEP ONE
HOT CHOCOLATE
STEP ONE: DON’T HAVE FUN,
YOU’RE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS
TOWNSFOLK
STEP TWO
HOT CHOCOLATE
STEP TWO: JUST PASS THROUGH,
WHEN THIS ENDS I’LL BE BETTER FOR IT
THEN I’LL GO AND GET A REAL GIG NEXT
TOWNSFOLK
STEP THREE
HOT CHOCOLATE
STEP THREE: JUST BE WHAT A HERO SHOULD BE
PROTECTING THE COMMUNITY
TOWNSFOLK
STEP FOUR
HOT CHOCOLATE
NOT WE, JUST ME , FULL STEAM FOR GLORY
CUZ IT’S TIME TO LIGHT THIS
SMALL TOWN FUSE
YOU CANNOT SNUFF ME OUT SO
OWL GIRL & ANNIE
START SPREADING THE NEWS
HOT CHOCOLATE
THIS INFERNO’S YOUR NEW HERO
ANNIE
BUT I STILL FEEL SO SMALL
OWL GIRL
I’LL WATCH THOSE TOWNSPEOPLE CRAWL
HOT CHOCOLATE
I’LL MAKE
ANNIE
I’LL FIND
OWL GIRL
I’LL TAKE THEIR
ALL THREE
HAPPY ENDING
SEMI SUPERS
WE’RE HEROES, THAT’S WHAT WE CHOOSE
SO LOOSE ALL YOUR SMALL TOWN BLUES
ALL THREE
EVENTUALLY THIS TOWN WILL NEED DEFENDING
SEMI SUPERS
UNTIL THERE’S VILLAINS TO TAME
TIL THEN,
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
TOWNSFOLK
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
CUZ EVERY DAY IS THE SAME
WHEN EVERY DAY IS THE SAME,
AND EVERY DAY IS THE SAME IS THE SAME AS THE SAME
YES EVERY DAY IS THE SAME AS THE SAME AS THE-
EVERY FUCKING DAY IS THE SAME AS THE SAME
AS THE SAME AS BEFORE
AND IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN
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9. |
A Way To Be Cruel
03:02
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HENCHMEN
MURDER, MURDER, MURDER, OF CROOOOWS
DR. MOUSTACHE
I'M NOT THAT BAD OF A BAD GUY
NOT TOO FIENDISH OF A FIEND
NOT YET WORTHY TO BE FOE-WORTHY
BUT I ALWAYS MEAN TO BE MEAN
I TRY MY BEST TO CAUSE DISTRESS
BUT IT TAKES A VILLAIN TO COMMIT VILLAINY
You see Chad, dear Chad-
CHAZZ
Interrupting
Chazz.
DR. MOUSTACHE
What?!
CHAZZ
Chazz. My name. Chazzzzz. With two Zees.
DR. MOUSTACHE
Ah. I see. You are a douche. Now Chazz, dear Chazz, don't be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you, I couldn't hurt you. I've always had a certain predisposition...
YOU KNOW I’VE PLOTTED ALL THE PLOTS
AND I’VE SCHEMED ALL THE SCHEMES
AND I’VE SET THE SET FOR MANY TRAPS
AND I’VE GOT A MURDER TO LEAD
DR. MOUSTACHE (CONT)
SO HERE’S MY STORY, FROM START TO FINISH
AND THIS IS HOW THE ENDING WILL BE...
YOU SEE I’VE GOT THIS MACHINE, IT’LL MAKE ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE
YOU CAN CALL IT OBSCENE, BUT MY DREAM IS A NIGHTMARE FOR YOU
IT’LL MAKE ME A MAN TO CARRY THROUGH WITH A PLAN OR TWO
AND SOMEDAY SOON I’LL SAY ORDINARY AND ALL YOU’LL SAY IS WHO?
DON’T YOU KNOW THAT BRAIN TRUMP BRAWN?
ASK ANY ROBBER, JOKER, THIEF, OR FOOL
AND ONCE I GATHER SOME GUTS
DARLING, I WILL FIND A WAY TO BE CRUEL
CROWFORD & OWL GIRL
YOU’RE GONNA FEED HIS MACHINE, IT’LL STEAL ALL HE NEEDS FROM YOU
YOU CAN STRUGGLE WITH MIGHT, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE IN FOR A FRIGHT WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE AND DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
TRY NOT TO SCREAM, IT’S A PAIN THAT YOU’VE NEVER EVEN KNEW
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, I’M PUSHING YOU
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE LET CHAOS ENSUE
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE ALL YOUR NIGHTMARES COMES TRUE
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10. |
A Way To be Cruel part 2
00:55
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11. |
Things Could Be Worse
03:27
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OPTIMISM MAN
YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT SOUL?
I SAID, YOU WANNA TALK TO ME ABOUT SOUL?!
I’M DEFINITELY NOT JUST STALLING FOR TIME, ‘CAUSE IT’S MY FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.
LISTEN UP BUDDY- WON’T YOU LEND ME YOUR EAR?
YOUR PROBLEMS WON’T LOOK SMALLER FROM WAY UP HERE.
THERE’S NO USE IN CARRYING YOUR TROUBLES AROUND
SO GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK AND TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
TAKE A BREATH, TAKE A LOOK, AT THE CHANCES BELOW
CUZ THERE’S JUST NO TELLING HOW YOUR STORY WILL GO
NOW WHY’D YOU WANNA LEAP OFF A BUILDING THIS HIGH?
IT’S ONLY TWO STORIES, YOU WOULDN’T ACTUALLY DIE
YOU’D BREAK BOTH LEGS AND SPEND A WEEK IN THE ICU
AND WHAT’S A POOR OLD HUMBLE CHAP LIKE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?
IF YOU CAN’T WALK RIGHT AND CAN'T WORK EVERY DAY
AND YOU GOT LOTS OF RENT AND LOTS OF BILLS TO PAY
THINGS COULD BE WORSE, YOU HAVE TO CONCEDE
TRY LIVING ON A SUPERHERO’S SALARY
IN A WORLD WHERE NOTHING’S FREE
THINGS COULD BE WORSE,
I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE
THE ONLY THING THAT’S MAYBE WORSE THAN BEING ME IS MAYBE BEING YOU
BUT, YOU GOTTA LOOK ON THAT BRIGHT SIDE
YOU’VE GOT TO SMILE THROUGH PAIN
JUST THINK ABOUT THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED
AND HIDE IT DEEP IN YOUR BRAIN!
JUMPER
Oh really?
Everyone in Plainsville lives such an easy-going life. I don’t belong here. This is the first time my boss let me leave work because he doesn’t want people to notice me! How messed up is that? What’s worse than my life?
OPTIMISM MAN
What’s worse than your life? Wellllll-
YOU’VE GOT
DISEASE, KILLER BEES, PEOPLE WHO NEVER SAY PLEASE, YOU SEE
CRIME EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT IN THE STREETS, THESE DAYS
EARTHQUAKES AND LARGE SNAKES, TSUNAMIS SO WIDE YOU’LL SEE
LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS OH MY WORD,
YOU’VE GOT
ASTHMA ATTACKS AND PANIC ATTACKS AND MUGGER ATTACKS
AND THEY’RE RAISING YOUR TAXES
THE GRASS ISN’T GREENER, THE WORLD JUST GETS MEANER, YOU ONCE WERE A DREAMER BUT NOW YOU’RE A WIENER.
PAPER CUTS, BUDGET CUTS, HAIRCUTS THAT AREN’T SO GOOD
CAN’T GET A DATE TO THE PROM BUT MOM SAYS YOU SHOULD.
MORMONS AND BURGLARS THAT COME TO YOUR DOOR
TINY ROCKS IN YOUR SHOES NOW YOUR ARCHES ARE SORE.
YOU COULD HAVE LOST YOUR JOB!
JUMPER
You know what? I hate my job. My boss is kind of a dick.
OPTIMISM MAN
Then quit!! Don’t delay your happiness!
JUMPER
You’re right!
BOTH
Yay!
WELL YOU GOTTA LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
JUMPER
LET GO OF FEAR AND WORRY
BOTH
BECAUSE IF YOU BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE
YOU”LL BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY
HOT CHOCOLATE
From the top!
ALL
THINGS COULD BE WORSE
OPTIMISM MAN
SO WHEN YOU’RE FEELIN’ DOWN
ALL
THINGS COULD BE WORSE
OPTIMISM MAN
JUST SING AND DANCE IT OUT
ALL
THIS WALK OF LIFE ON THE GREENER GRASS
IT’S NOT HALF EMPTY IT’S A HALF FULL GLASS
JUST LOOK FOR SILVER LININGS AND THE STORM WILL PASS
IF YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN JUST GET OFF OF YOUR ASS
AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN THAT YOU CAN’T SURPASS
YOU STILL RAN THE RACE IF YOU CAME IN LAST
OPTIMISM MAN
NO ONE SHALL SURPASS THIS ENTHUSIAST
ALL
WHEN LIFE GAVE HIM LEMONS
OPTIMISM MAN
I MADE A BIG MESS BUT
ALL
THINGS COULD STILL BE WORSE
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12. |
Saved Me
03:49
|
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EMILY
DON’T LET YOURSELF GET DOWN
IT’S NOT THE CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU FILLIN’ THE SHOES
IT’S ABOUT DOING WHAT YOU CAN
I WON’T LET YOU STAY DOWN
YOU WERE LIKE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DUDE OUT THERE
AND THOUGH WE JUST MET
EMILY & OPTIMISM MAN
I WOULD BET
YOU’RE WAY MORE THAN WHAT YOU WEAR
ANNIE
YOU’VE GOT A HEART OF GOLD
HOT CHOCOLATE
A SUPER COOL SUPER SUIT
But like that’s not the only thing that’s good about you-
EMILY
YOU’VE GOT ME, YOU’VE GOT YOUR CREW
ALL THREE
DON’T NEED TO SING THOSE BLUES
EMILY
CAUSE WHEN YOU SAVED ME, SAVED ME
I THINK IT SAVED YOU TOO!
AND SINCE YOU SAVED ME, SAVED ME
I WANNA SAVE YOU TOO!
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
That’s all fine and well guys, but this isn’t a comic book- any one of us could have gotten hurt today.
HOT CHOCOLATE
Who got hurt today??
OPTIMISM MAN
That doesn’t make me feel very good…
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
WHAT IF I FALL?
EMILY
IF YOU FALL YOU’VE GOT THE LEAGUE TO PROTECT YOU
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
WHAT IF WE LOSE?
EMILY & HOT CHOCOLATE
WE’LL LOSE THE BATTLE, NOT THE WAR
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
WHAT IF THEY DIE?
EMILY
THEN THEY’LL BE NINETY AND WARM IN THEIR BED-
I DON’T KNOW ‘BOUT YOU BUT I’M NOT THERE YET
EMILY & OPTIMISM MAN
THERE’S SO MUCH SAVING TO DO
EMILY
AND YOU SAVED ME, SAVED ME, SO NOW I’LL SAVE YOU
Aren’t you guys super heroes? Go save the day!
ANNIE
Have fun.
OPTIMISM MAN
No way! We're a team! We need you Annie.
ANNIE
I'll just slow everybody down. I was so scared out there, and nothing that bad even happened!
OPTIMISM MAN
And you're gonna let that stop you from being a superhero?!
ANNIE
WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?
I’M NOT SUPER LIKE YOU
OPTIMISM MAN
I SEE YOU’VE GOT A CASE OF FROWNY FEVER, BUT I’LL MAKE YOU A BELIEVER
AND I’M COMIN’ FOR YOU
We all are!
SEMI SUPERS
CAUSE WE’LL MAKE YOU A HERO IN A MINUTE
ANNIE IT’S YOU’RE TIME TO SHINE JUST ADMIT IT
YOU’RE A HERO INSIDE, LICK YOUR WOUNDS PLEASE DON’T HIDE
GIVE IT ALL THAT YOU’VE GOT
ANNIE
OKAY I’LL GIVE IT A SHOT
SEMI SUPERS
NOW DO AWAY WITH FEAR,
CAUSE THE WHOLE LEAGUE’S HERE
WE’RE GONNA SAVE YOU, SAVE YOU!
ANNIE
NOW WE’VE GOT SAVING TO DO!
LIL JOHNNY
YEAH YOU JUST SAVED ME, SAVED ME
LIL DEBBIE
YEAH YOU SAVED ME TOO
EMILY
SEE, YOU JUST SAVED THEM, SAVED THEM
LIL DEBBIE & JOHNNY
‘CUZ THAT’S WHAT SUPERHEROES DO!
ALL
NOW WE’RE STANDING EVEN TALLER THAN WE EVER COULDA STOOD BEFORE
THE TALLEST BUILDING HERE IS ONLY TWO FLOORS BUT WE’RE JUST A LITTLE MORE
EMILY
YOU’RE BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVERYTHING, SO STEP INTO THE SUIT HE WORE
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
WITH YOU BY MY SIDE, I NOW REALIZE THAT I CAN BE SO MUCH MORE
ALL
BE SO MUCH MORE
BE SO MUCH MORE
OH SO MUCH MORE!
ALL
IT’S JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
HERE’S IN PLAINSVILLE USA
AND LIFE IS GREAT.
IT’S SWELL
IT’S GOING REALLY REALLY WELL
TOWNSFOLK
AND NOBODY’S BEEN KIDNAPPED
SEMI SUPERS
SHIT
TOWNSFOLK
AS FAR AS I CAN TELL
OUR SUPERHERO HAS SOME BRAND NEW SUPER FRIENDS
THEIR POWERS ARE KINDA SHITTY;
THEY’LL STILL USE THEM TO DEFEND
HOT CHOCOLATE
FROM WHAT?
ALL
HA HA!
OUR LIVES ARE PRETTY GREAT
AND THE LEAGUE OF SEMI-SUPERS ARE THE ONES TO CONGRATULATE
AND THANK
YOU
SAVED ME, SAVED ME,
SAVED ME, SAVED ME,
SAVED ME, SAVED ME,
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
YEAH YOU SAVED ME TOO
COMPANY
SAVED ME, SAVED ME
|
||||
13. |
Made Me
01:31
|
|||
OWL GIRL
YOU’VE GOT A MIND LIKE A DIAMOND
GOT ALL THE WEALTH IN THE WORLD
YOU’VE GOT ME, BUT YOU CAN’T SEE
THIS GIRL
CAUSE I’M YOUR FIT
JUST LIKE A GLOVE
I’M YOUR MIDNIGHT OWL BUT I WANNA BE
YOUR MORNING DOVE
CAUSE WHEN YOU MADE ME, YOU MADE ME
A FOOL
WHEN YOU MADE ME, YOU MADE ME
FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
|
||||
14. |
What Could I Do
03:32
|
|||
CROWFORD
WHAT IS THE EVILEST THING THAT I COULD EVER DO?
WHAT IT’S ALL FOR, OR MAYBE FOR WHO?
I'D BE LYIN' IF I SAID IT WASN’T ALL FOR YOU
IF I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE, THE LONELY ONE WHO KNEW
WHAT COULD I DO?
I COULD STEAL EVERY LEFT SHOE, WOULD THAT IMPRESS YOU?
IF NOT, I'LL TAKE AWAY THEIR RIGHTS, FOR YOU, FOR YOU
WHAT COULD I DO?
WE COULD BUILD A LITTLE LOVE BIRD’S NEST
PUT OUR BIOLOGY TO THE TEST
BREAKIN’ RULES IN THE WILDERNESS
LOVE AND LOVIN' TENDERNESS
BABY, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?
CHANNEL THIS
RUFFLED SEXUALITY
HERE I AM, OH CAN’T YOU SEE
LIKE SHAKESPEARE I’LL COME ONTO THEE.
SO WANT ME PLEASE
WANT ME PLEASE
WHAT COULD I DO?
I COULD SPILL A GIANT OIL TIDE
AND MAKE THE WORLD’S GREATEST SLIP-N-SLIDE
BUT THAT’S ONE THING BP BEAT US TO, IF US WAS ME AND YOU
WHAT COULD I DO?
WE COULD BUILD A LITTLE LOVE BIRD’S NEST
PUT OUR BIOLOGY TO THE TEST
BREAKIN’ RULES IN THE WILDERNESS
LOVE AND LOVE AND TENDERNESS
BABY, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?
CHANNEL THIS
FEELING THAT I HAVE INSIDE
THAT THIS MOMENT IS THE TIME
NOW I FINALLY SEE THE SIGN
PLEASE BE MINE
PLEASE BE MINE
THESE ARE THE EVILEST THINGS THAT I COULD EVER DO
ALL THESE PLANS THAT I’VE DREAMED AND SCHEMED FOR YOU
SO I’LL TRY ONE TO MAKE THESE FANTASIES COME TRUE
NOW I’M THE LAST ONE WHO KNEW WHAT I COULD DO,
WHAT I WILL DO, FOR YOU
|
||||
15. |
Fair Medley
02:37
|
|||
TOWNSFOLK
IT’S JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
HERE IN PLAINSVILLE USA
AND WELCOME TO OUR FAIR
IT’S GREAT
SEMIS
AND THEY’RE GOING ON A DATE!
TOWNSFOLK
NOTHING COULD RUIN THIS PERFECT DAY
IN ANY KIND OF WAY.
OPTIMISM MAN
EVERY DAY WAS THE SAME
AND IT WAS BORING AND LAME
‘CAUSE EVERY DAY WAS THE SAME
SO I UPPED MY GAME, FOUND A DAME, WHO’S TO BLAME
FOR THIS FAIR
TOWNSFOLK
AND IT’S A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN
ANNIE
Wait? You planned this all just for me?? Why something this big for me? I’m just small town news.
OPTIMISM MAN
I mean, it’s for the town but you’ll have such an amazing story to write about tomorrow. So I guess I might have had you in mind, ya.
OPTIMISM MAN
WANTED TO SHAKE AWAY YOUR
SMALL TOWN BLUES
SO I GREW A PAIR AND
MADE SOME SMOOTH GUY MOVES
I HOPE I GET A GOOD REVIEW
TRUST ME YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SMALL
AND YOUR STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING AFTER AL-
HOT CHOCOLATE
Turn it up Plainsville! Thank you for inviting me to perform at your fair. Time to get to know your newest, most bad-ass, crime fighting queen in town!
HOT CHOCOLATE, GETTIN HOT IN HERE
HOTTER THAN A SAUNA SO YOU BETTER STAY CLEAR OF THE MAGMA
VOLCANO’S ERUPTIN’, BITCHES GETTIN HEATED WHEN THE
CHOCOLATE GET CRUMPIN’
WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE BABY BOUT TWO OR THREE
MY DADDY’S BABY-MOMMA SHE FORGOT ABOUT ME
SHE LEFT ME IN THE CAR, ON A HOT SUMMER’S DAY
AND EVER SINCE THEN, CHOCOLATE LIKE IT THAT WAY!
NOT HOT ENOUGH TO BURN, BUT I’M TOO HOT TO HANDLE
I’LL HEAT YOUR DINNER PLATE, I CAN’T LIGHT YOUR CANDLE
CAN’T TOUCH MY FLAME, CAN’T TAME THE BLAZE
WHEN THE TEMPERATURE’S A RISIN’ YOU’VE GOT ME TO BLAME
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT PARTY’S GETTIN HOT HOT HOT
SOLID AS AN IGNEOUS ROCK ROCK
I’M A HERO LITTLE MAMA, DON’T FORGET THE SUPER
AND IF SHE TURNS YA DOWN, MAN I’LL TOTALLY DO HER!
TOWNSFOLK
OUR SUPERHEROES ARE THE BEST IN ALL THE LAND
THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE A LOT TO DO BUT AN AWESOME FAIR THEY’VE
PLANNED
FOR US- YAHOO
THERE’S NO US WITHOUT YOU
AND WITHOUT THE LEAGUE OF SEMI SUPERS WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’D DO
HOT CHOCOLATE
CONGA!
ALL
OH CAPTAIN ORDINARY YOU ARE SO GOOD TO ME
LETS FIESTA ALL NIGHT LONG!
|
||||
16. |
City Limits
04:24
|
|||
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
TOEING THE LINE, IN THE DISTANCE THERE’S A CITY
BEEN HERE MY WHOLE LIFE, IF I VANISHED WOULD THEY MISS ME?
EYES ARE ON THE HORIZON, EYES ARE ON THE HORIZON
I THOUGHT THAT THIS TOWN WAS A WORLD NEVER ENDING
I’M NOT A HERO AT ALL, I'M JUST A BOY PRETENDING
BUT IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP NOW, BUT IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP NOW
TAKE OFF THE CAPE, OFF THE WEIGHT
OF THE WORLD IT'S CRASHING DOWN
AND THIS TOWN NEEDS SOMETHING MORE THAN ME- MORE THAN
ORDINARY, I’M SCARED- CAN’T BREATHE
WHERE DO I GO?
WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE CALLING ME TO LEAVE THIS TOWN
AND A ROAD OF PROMISES JUST BEGGING ME TO BE FOUND
AND THE CITY LIMITS TRY TO STOP ME
THEY TRY TO HOLD ME DOWN
AND THESE CITY LIMITS I’VE DEFENDED
ARE THE TIES THAT KEEP ME BOUND
IT ALL GETS SO LOUD
IF NOT FOR CITY LIMITS I WOULD LEAVE THIS TOWN
PICTURE ME, CLIMB THE SKYLINE TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD
LEAVE NO TRACE, FIND MY PLACE, GET THE GLORY, THE GIRL
EYES ARE ON THE HORIZON, EYES ARE ON THE HORIZON
BUT IF EYES WERE ON ME WOULD THEY SEE THROUGH THE LIES?
AND NOW EYES ARE ON ME IN A PASSED DOWN DISGUISE
BUT IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP NOW, IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP NOW
I WANTED MORE THAN THE STORE
JUST A BREAK FROM THE OLD ROUTINE
DIDN’T MEAN TO SUPERSEDE A LEGACY
THAT WHEN THE TIME CAME TO FULFILL I CHOKED, I FROZE
HEY BILLY I WON’T LET YOU GO
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST PART OF EVERYTHING I KNOW
TOWNSFOLK
SO IT'S WRITTEN
HOT CHOCOLATE & ANNIE
SO IT'S WRITTEN
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
SO IT GOES
OPTIMISM MAN
LOST IN A SUMMER HAZE WE WERE HEROES
OPTIMISM MAN & HOT CHOCOLATE
SHOESTRING BELT AND A BATH TOWEL CAPE, WE WERE HEROES
SEMI SUPERS
POP CAN ROBBERS TO DEFEAT AND MOPS TO SAVE, WE WERE HEROES
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
NOW BILLY NEEDS ME, BUT NOT AS HENRY
TOWNSFOLK
OH CAPTAIN ORDINARY!
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
SO WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN AND IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE
AND YOU KNOW A HERO NEVER LEAVES A FRIEND BEHIND
AND NOW I’VE REACHED THE CROSSROADS
OF WHO I AM AND WHO I’LL BE….
FREE TO FIND THE STRENGTH INSIDE
TO HOLD THE FATE YOU LEFT TO ME
I CAN BREAK THROUGH THESE LIMITATIONS, I PUT THEM HERE MYSELF.
I’M NOT AN IMITATION, I’M A FIRST EDITION ON THE SHELF
AND IN OUR STORY’S FINAL HOUR
YOU DON’T NEED A SUPERPOWER
TO BE EXTRAORDINARY
|
||||
17. |
||||
HOT CHOCOLATE
NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG
I DON’T MEAN TO SOUND CONCEDED
BUT EVERYTIME I FACE A VILLAIN
THEY’RE ALREADY DEFEATED
YOU KNOW I TRY AND I TRY
TRY TO KEEP THIS FLAME A BURNIN’
AND I WORK, I’M BERSERK, AND I SWEAT BUT I FRET
NEVER GONNA PASS ALL THESE LESSONS WE’RE LEARNING
BOTTOM OF THE CLASS, NEVER WILL SURPASS FALLING ON MY ASS,
NOT NO MORE
HOT CHOCOLATE (CONT)
PUSHED AGAINST THE WALL, ANSWERING THE CALL, GONNA BEAT EM ALL
HEAR ME ROAR
OH AND I KNOW
THAT I’VE GOT A TEAM, SO I’VE GOT A SHOT
GONNA MAKE EM TASTE ALL I’VE GOT
THOUGHT I WAS ALONE BUT NOW I KNOW I’M NOT
AND I’LL SHOW
NO ONE’S GONNA FIGHT THOSE I’VE FOUGHT
NO ONE’S GONNA CATCH THOSE I’VE CAUGHT
VICTORIES LIKE MINE CAN’T BE BOUGHT
STOP DROP AND ROLL
THIS SUPE'S GOT SOUL
WHAT STARTED AS COAL
IS BURNIN OUT OF CONTROL
OWL GIRL
WATCH EVIL FLY
YOU’VE MET YOUR DEMISE
I SEE THROUGH YOUR LOUD DISGUISE
NOW DEATH STRIKES FROM THE STORMY SKIES
NOW STEP ASIDE
THIS HAS GIVEN ME EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED
A CHANCE TO PROVE MY WORTH
PUT AN END TO HOW I’VE BEEN TREATED
WIN THIS FIGHT, WIN HIS LOVE
CAUSE DEATH COMES FROM ABOVE
AND WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE
BAD GUYS PLAY ROUGH
BOTH
OH AND I KNOW
OWL GIRL
NOW’S MY MOMENT, HERE IS MY SHOT
HOT CHOCOLATE
GONNA MAKE EM TASTE ALL I’VE GOT
BOTH
NEVER GONNA BE WHAT I’M NOT
NOW LET’S GO
HOT CHOCOLATE
UNLEASH MY FLAME, INFERNO’S GETTIN’ HOT
OWL GIRL
I WON’T ROOST UNTIL YOU ROT
HOT CHOCOLATE
THIS ONE’S FOR THE LEAGUE
OWL GIRL
WELL BABY TAKE YOUR SHOT!
BOTH
HOOO!
HOT CHOCOLATE OWL GIRL
STOP DROP AND ROLL WATCH ME SOAR
THIS SUPE'S GOT SOUL NOW YOU’RE DONE FOR
WHAT STARTED AS COAL BEATEN TO THE FLOOR
IS BURNIN OUT OF CONTROL FOREVER MORE
HOT CHOCOLATE
BOTTOM OF THE CLASS, NEVER WILL SURPASS, FALLING ON MY ASS
NOT NO MORE
OWL GIRL
PUSHED AGAINST THE WALL, ANSWERING THE CALL, GONNA BEAT EM ALL
WATCH ME SOAR
BOTH
AHHHH
|
||||
18. |
||||
CROWFORD (2)
ANY MINUTE NOW
SHE’LL RUN THROUGH THE DOOR
NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING, THE TALONS, THE GORE
SUCH A SWEET YOUNG GIRL- HER HEART SO DEMURE
PITY SHE’LL BE UGLY AFTER I EVISCERATE
HER FACE, TONIGHT-
CROWFORD (1)
EXCUSE ME PLEASE, MAY I JUST HAVE A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.
I HAVE A FEW CONCERN AND YOUR CONCERNS ARE MINE
OWL GIRL’S IN THE OTHER ROOM IN MORTAL DANGER,
DON’T YOU THINK WE BETTER TRY AND GO AND SAVE HER?!
LOOK I KNOW THAT YOU WON’T UNDERSTAND THE MUSINGS OF MY HUMAN MIND.
BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE IN TO THIS ANIMALISTIC SIDE
CROWFORD (VOICE 2)
ANY MINUTE NOW
I’LL PLUCK OUT HER EYES
DOESN’T MATTER WHAT GOES DOWN
BITCH GON BE BLIND
CROWFORD (1)
BUT THEN THERE’S OWL GIRL
AND WITH HER WING IN MINE
WE’RE SOARING HIGH, LEAVE THIS MADNESS BEHIND
CROWFORD (2 OVERLAPPING)
ANY SECOND NOW
THE DEED WILL BE DONE
TEAR HER LIMB FROM LIMB
SHUT UP
THE GAMES HAVE BEGUN
CROWFORD (2)
FOR SUCH A BRAVE YOUNG SOUL- WHAT I HAVE IN STORE
IS A GORY, BLOODY, RETCHING, DISEMBOWELING-
DANCE, WE SHARE, TONIGHT-
|
||||
19. |
||||
DR.MOUSTACHE
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS
RUGGED UPPER-LIPPED HANDSOMENESS?
I BET YOU CAN’T EVEN GROW ONE
HERE IN YOUR HERO’S DARKEST HOUR
NARY A SINGLE SUPERPOWER
IT’S CUTE
BUT MOOT
ALL
YOU ARE JUST A SUBSTITUTE
DR.MOUSTACHE
CAUSE WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN, WELL THEN IT’S JUDGEMENT
TIME
WHEN I THINK OF A HERO- YOU’RE NOT WHAT COMES TO MIND
I HALF BELIEVED IN MIRACLES WHEN YOU WALKED IN WITH THAT MASK
BUT ORDINARY IS NO MORE
AND NOW WE TURN TO THE FINAL TASK
CROWS
OPTIMISM MAN
CROW SOLO
HE’S SUCH A PRECIOUS ANGEL
DR. MOUSTACHE AND CROWS
HE’S GONNA BE SO DEAD,
CROW SOLO
OR AT LEAST DISABLED
DR. MOUSTACHE
SAY GOODBYE HENRY HARVEY
CAUSE YOUR FRIEND’S ABOUT TO CROAK
CONDOLENCES BOY WONDER
OPTIMISM’S JUST A JOKE
YOU’RE NOTHING
CROWS
NOTHING
DR. MOUSTACHE
NOTHING
CROWS
NOTHING
DR. MOUSTACHE
YOU LET GRAMPS DOWN AND IT’S SUCH A
PITY, THAT YOU’RE NOT THE SAME GUY
|
||||
20. |
Almost
04:39
|
|||
ANNIE
THIS IS NOT HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
NO, YOU WEREN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
OPTIMISM’S NO SHIELD, NO WEAPON
YOU HAD HEART WHERE YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD FEAR.
YOU WERE A HERO TO ME-
I COULDN’T BE A HERO FOR YOU
THIS WHOLE TOWN NEEDED YOU HERE, AND YOU DISAPPEAR
THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO
SO DON’T GO
FILL THE BLANK PAGES OF YOUR STORY
WHEN WE HAD SO MUCH, MUCH MORE WE
WANTED TO DO, SAVE A LIFE OR TWO
DON’T GO
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE OUR STORY
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REAL AND ORDINARY
IT WOULD’VE BEEN TRUE
BUT A ME WITHOUT YOU IS JUST
COMPANY
ALMOST
ANNIE
JUST TEARING AT THE PAPER CUZ THE PEN’S OUT OF INK- I’M
COMPANY
ALMOST
ANNIE
GOT THE IDEA BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO THINK- I WAS
ALMOST HOME AND I’M BANGING ON THE DOOR BUT I KNOW I’VE LOST THE KEY, CAN’T GET CLOSER THAN A GLIMPSE THROUGH A WINDOW
BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU, I’M ALMOST A HERO
COMPANY
SO IT’S WRITTEN
EMILY
NOT IN STONE
COMPANY
SO IT GOES
EMILY
NO DON’T LET GO
COMPANY
WITHIN OUR HEARTS NOW
IS YOUR NEW HOME
EMILY
THAT’S NOT WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED
COMPANY
ALMOST HEROES
ANNIE
ALL ALONE
COMPANY
BUT ALL GOOD HEROES ARE NEVER TRULY GONE
EMILY
YOU CAN’T BE THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS AND A SUPERHERO TOO
HE KNEW WHAT HE SIGNED UP FOR AND I THOUGHT I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU
COMPANY
HE WASN’T GIVEN A CHOICE, BUT IF HE EVER GOT TO CHOOSE
HE WOULD HAVE DIED TO SAVE ANY ONE OF YOU
EMILY
YOU ARE THE PEOPLE WHO SAVED THE WORLD TODAY
AND IF OUR WORLD IS SMALL THEN THAT’S OK
AND THE REST OF US? WE’RE HERE TO STAY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU HAD BIG IDEAS FOR YOUR STORY
ANNIE
AND WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE, MUCH MORE WE GOTTA DO
BOTH
SAVE A LIFE OR TWO
COMPANY
ALMOST
EMILY
A HERO DOESN’T STRIVE FOR FAME OR FOR GLORY
COMPANY
ALMOST
BOTH
BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE YOU’LL BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY
COMPANY
DEAD NOT GONE
REMEMBER WHAT HE STOOD FOR
HIS LEGACY WILL LIVE
SUPERHEROES NEVER DIE FOREVER
WE WILL HONOR OPTIMISM
AND ALL THAT’S POSITIVE
THINGS ARE ALREADY LOOKING BETTER
ANNIE
ALMOST
|
||||
21. |
||||
DR.MOUSTACHE
YOU GOTTA LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
YOU’VE GOT TO SMILE THROUGH THE PAIN
FOR YOUR SEMI-SUPER-DUPER FRIENDSHIP
WAS TRAGICALLY, PATHETICALLY, UTTERLY IN VAIN
THINGS COULD BE WORSE
THIS YOU’LL SOON KNOW
FOR EVERY MEMBER OF YOUR SHITTY LITTLE TOWN,
I’VE GOT A DOZEN RABID CROWS
THINGS WILL BE WORSE,
AND SOON YOU WILL SEE
THAT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE THAT MATTERS
IS ME. ME. ME. ME. ME. ME.
SO RUN FOR COVER
COWER AND CRY
SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR LOVER
AND DIE. DIE. DIE.
|
||||
22. |
Finale
05:37
|
|||
CROWFORD
AT THE END OF THE DAY WE WRITE OUR STORIES
ALL OVER THIS PAPER TOWN
ONLY FOOLS TRY TO GUESS THE ENDING
BEFORE IT’S BEEN WRITTEN DOWN
AND I’VE BEEN AROUND FOR A LONG TIME
I’VE NEVER SEEN A STORY QUITE LIKE THIS
SURE, GOOD DEFEATED EVIL
BUT THE BIRD GOT THE GIRL
CROWFORD & OWL GIRL
AND ORDINARY PEOPLE SAVED THE WORLD
OWL GIRL
Town.
CROWFORD
Whatever.
CROWFORD & OWL GIRL
NOW WE’RE FLYING EVEN HIGHER THAN WE EVER COULD HAVE FLOWN BEFORE
AND THOUGH WE HAD THE CHANCE TO LEAVE, WE STAYED TO SEE
WHAT’S IN STORE
CROWFORD
Owl Girl and I were grateful to the League of Semi-Supers for showing us the compassion that Moustache never had. In the end our courageous actions stopped Moustache and we now know that any man, woman, or bird can be a hero.
COMPANY
OUR STORY GOES ON
OWL GIRL
Dr. Moustache’s soul was cleansed. He’s now the most caring and thoughtful townsman. He is the citizen of the month in every edition of the newspaper due to his good deeds.
COMPANY
OUR STORY GOES ON
CHAZZ
Emily is now the manager of the League of Semi-Supers. She spends what little free time she has sharing her favourite movies with me mostly. I’m getting closer to winning her back everyday.
COMPANY
OUR STORY GOES ON
HOT CHOCOLATE
Captain Ordinary alternates weeks between Plainsville and the nearby Metropolis where he mentors local mediocre super heroes and helps them find small towns that need their help.
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
Hot Chocolate now runs the Convenience Store for me and leads the league when I’m away. She decided plain wasn’t so bad after all.
ALL
AND OUR STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING AFTER ALL
ANNIE
Billy was saved. We live a quiet life as the town’s doctor and nurse.
BILLY
Annie's the doctor- and I’m the nurse.
CROWFORD
With the most optimistic bedside manner ever.
EMILY
I COLLECT EVERY ISSUE
LIL JOHNNY
I COLLECT EVERY DOLL
LIL DEBBIE
Action figure!
ALL THREE
IF IT’S SEMI-SUPER, I WANT IT ALL!
ALL
IF YOU NEED A HERO IN A MINUTE
CALL US CUZ OUR TIME TO SHINE IS BEGINNIN’
NATURAL DISASTERS, ROBOTIC RAPTORS, WHATEVER YOU FEAR
TOWNSFOLK
GOOD THING WE DON’T HAVE THOSE HERE
ALL
SO IF YOU NEED A SPIDER KILLED OR POTHOLE FILLED
OUR STORY GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES,
ON IT GOES, ON IT GOES, ON,
OUR STORY GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES
ON, IT GOES, ON
DISEMBODIED VOICE: One Year Later...
HOT CHOCOLATE
It has been a whole year and I still can’t close this register
OPTIMISM
HC I keep telling you, it's all in the hips! You can do it!
ANNIE
OK…. has anybody noticed that every time he says that, you can actually do it?
HOT CHOCOLATE
Annie, you’re losing it. He’s just an empowering dude!
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
Yeah, I’ve known the guy my whole life. There’s no way Billy’s had powers this whole time-
ANNIE
Henry, every time you didn’t believe in yourself he told you to and then all of a sudden you did. Billy can make things happen!
Hey- think I can lift this mysterious car out of the loading zone?
BILLY
Well… sure if you give it your all! You can do it!
TOWNSFOLK
Oooooooooohhhh
ALL
(Excited rabble rabble rabble)
DRAG RACER
You Fools!! You will RUE the day that you trashed the hotrod of the fabulous DRAG RACER!!!
CAPTAIN ORDINARY
Looks like our breaks over team,
HOT CHOCOLATE
Guess we’ll be pulling some over time
ALL
IF YOU NEED A HERO IN A MINUTE
CALL US CUZ OUR TIME TO SHINE IS BEGINNIN’
IF IT’S DAY OR IT’S NIGHT, WE WILL FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT
JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE
DRAG RACER
YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING LIKE ME!
ALL
PLAINSVILLE HAS NO COPS, OUR WORK NEVER STOPS
ALL
OUR STORY GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES
ON, IT GOES, ON IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON, OUR STORY GOES
ON IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON, IT GOES ON...
CROWFORD
Well, my plucky friends… maybe our little town isn’t so quiet after all. Either way it’s the kind of place that will remind you that anything can be extraordinary. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome home!
ALL
HERE AND NOW AND DAY TO DAY
WE’RE JUST LIVING OUR LIVES, TRYING TO FIND OUR WAY
LIVE IN THE MOMENT IS WHAT THEY SAY
TODAY IS JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
TODAY IS JUST AN ORDINARY DAY
TODAY IS JUST AN ORDINARY
AND THAT IS OUR EXTRAORDINARY
JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY
IN PLAINSVILLE, U.S.A
PLAINSVILLE U.S.A
|
Igneous Theatre Productions Edmonton, Alberta
Igneous Theatre Productions is a homegrown musical theatre company from Edmonton, Alberta focused on creating new, exciting,
and fun musical theatre!
Coming from all areas of theatre, music, design and business the Igneous team's debut musical Almost Heroes is now available for purchase and download!
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