We meet our soon to be heroes... Billy and Henry are about to start their first day on the job in more ways than one.
lyrics
HENRY
Come on, answer your phone...
Hey Billy! Here it is. Day one of owning and running the store. We’re not going to mess this up. We got this. We’ve basically grown up in this store, how hard can it be?
HEY BILLY, WE’RE ALL OUT OF QUARTERS
THE BANK IS ONLY OPEN TWO DAYS A WEEK
CAN SOMEONE SHOW ME HOW TO READ ALL OF THESE STUPID RECEIPTS?
WHO SELLS US BREAD? WHERE DO I STORE THE CHEESE?
SHOW ME WHERE I SIGNED UP FOR THIS JOB PRETTY PLEASE?
HEY BILLY, WHY’D HE HAVE TO LEAVE US?
HE WAS A HERO TO ME, A HERO TO YOU
THIS WHOLE TOWN NEEDED HIM HERE, JUST LIKE I DO
HE TAUGHT US HOW TO TRUST AND HOW TO BE TRUE
THEN HE LEFT US AT A CROSSROAD WITHOUT A CLUE
SO IT’S WRITTEN, SO IT GOES
EVERY DAY, EVERY TALE, EVERY DREAM THAT I HAD
ENDS WITH ME STOCKING SHELVES IN THIS STORE
ONLY US NOW, ALL ALONE
NOW I’M LEFT HERE WITH THESE SHOES TO FILL
WITH JUST A MOP
BILLY
Anything else?
HENRY
AND A FLOOR
HEY BILLY
Do you think that I can do this?
BILLY
We can do this!
... Thats a superhero costume ...
HENRY
Isn't it Captain Ordinary's costume?
BILLY:
It's Captain Ordinary's costume!
TOGETHER:
IT'S FREAKING ORDINARY'S COSTUME!!
BILLY
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS
HENRY
THE MAN WE LOVED WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN HE SEEMED
I GET TO TRY IT ON FIRST!
BILLY
FAT CHANCE, IT LOOKS MY SIZE
LOOKS LIKE YOU CAN’T EVEN GET IT OVER YOUR THIGHS
HENRY
SCREW YOU! SPANDEX STRETCHES
BILLY
FINE I’LL COMPROMISE
BESIDES, THE MASK IS THE KEY FEATURE OF ANY DISGUISE
Now that's super strength if I've ever seen it!
BILLY
HENRY- IT’S DESTINY-
WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT OPPORTUNITY
THEY’LL SEE, YOUR FAMILY TREE
HAS PROVEN WHAT IT TAKES TO BE EXTRAORDINARY
HENRY
NOT FOR ME
BILLY
YOU WANTED CHANGE, WELL BUDDY IT’S HERE
YOU JUST INHERITED A SUPER SECRET CAREER!
NO ONE KNOWS, HE’S EVEN GONE
WE’RE ENTRUSTED TO ENSURE HIS LEGACY LIVES ON
IT’S YOUR TURN, FORGE A HERO’S TRAIL
WITH THIS POWER DEEP INSIDE, KNOW YOU CAN NEVER FAIL!
DON’T YOU WANNA BE FREE? COME BE A HERO WITH ME, WE’LL KICK SOME ASS AND FIND A HAPPY ENDING.
FIGHT THE THUGS AND THE GOONS, PICK UP A GIRL, MAYBE TWO- WE’LL GET SOME FRIENDS AND DO SOME SAPPY FRIENDS THINGS
HENRY DON’T BE SO SCARED- WHO CARES IF YOU FEEL PREPARED- ANYONE WHO CROSSES US TO THE MOON YOU’RE SENDING
HIS POWER STILL LIVES IN YOU, HIS STRENGTH AND BRAVERY TOO, THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING!
Come on man, we’ve been preparing for this since we were kids! You wanted something more, so step up! I’m literally handing it to you, you can do it!
(Optimism Man repeats while this layers on top)
HENRY
AND NOW IT’S WRITTEN
HERE WE GO
EVERY DAY, EVERY TALE, EVERY DREAM LEADS THE WAY
TO THE DESTINY WE HAVE IN STORE
TWO OF US NOW, AND WHAT’S MORE
WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED, WE’LL BEAT BAD EVERY TIME
THIS IS OUR HOME AND IT NEEDS DEFENDING
credits
from Almost Heroes,
released August 20, 2017
Captain Ordinary: Matt Graham
Optimism Man: Michael Vetsch
Igneous Theatre Productions is a homegrown musical theatre company from Edmonton, Alberta focused on creating new, exciting,
and fun musical theatre!
Coming from all areas of theatre, music, design and business the Igneous team's debut musical Almost Heroes is now available for purchase and download!...more
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